The Clawfice
thumb|300px|right|Video of Segment This segment is a parody of The Office and X-Men. This segment is from the episode Ribbetless/The Clawfice. Plot The segment begins with the Office group sitting in chairs. Jo Bennett explains that since they can't find a replacement for Michael. So they decide for them to merge with the Westchester Office. Right then, Wolverine slices the door and throws out Oscar because he didn't know there was a Westchester Office. Later, there are all these scenes that show the setting and Wolverine being the boss of the group. Wolverine then explains their new team, the X-Men. He also explains how he is 150 years old and that there can only be one team. So the Office team vs X-Men. Whoever can do better than the other team gets to stay. Things go wrong for the X-Men team. Rogue gets depressed because of Meredith Palmer. Iceman gets frozen by Angela Martin. And Beast takes a crossword break with Stanley Hudson. Things even go more wrong when Dwight stole Cyclop's visor and Cyclop wore Dwight's glasses, making a mess on his team's property. In the end, the X-Men team surrender and the Office team becomes Wolverine's new team. Their new goal is to take inventory, sell paper, and defeat Magneto. Just then, Magneto comes in and prepares to destroy them. The segment ends with Wolverine saying "That's what she said" quote. References *Westchester County *Wolverine *Scranton *Storm *X-Mansion *Cyclops *Jean Grey *Nightcrawler *Rogue *Iceman *Beast *Magneto *"That's what she said" Quote Characters *James Duncan "Jim" Halpert *Pamela Morgan "Pam" Halpert *Joleen MaryAnn "Jo" Bennett *Andrew "Andy" Baines Bernard *Oscar Jual Paul Martinez *Wolverine *Storm *Ryan Bailey Howard *Cyclops *Phyllis Margaret Vance *Kelly Rajnigandha Kapoor *Dwight Kurt Schrute III *Jean Grey *Nightcrawler *Rogue *Meredith Elizabeth Palmer *Iceman *Angela Noelle Martin *Beast *Stanley James Hudson *Magneto Transcript (Scene begins with the cast of The Office sitting in chairs. Also in the background you can hear telephones ringing) (Jim walks in the room) Jim Halpert: What's going on? Pamela Morgan: Video conference. Jo Bennett: (On monitor) Sit down, Jim. I've got some news. Ever since Michael left, we haven't found a suitable replacement, so I'm merging you guys with the Westchester Office. (The people start to wonder and get worry. Also the scene zooms on Andy Bernard) Jo Bennett: Their team leader seems like a good fit. Oscar Martinez: I didn't know there was a Westchester branch. (Somebody claws the door from the outside and then breaks it to reveal Wolverine) Wolverine: There's a lot you don't know, bud, which is why we're slashing jobs. (Wolverine picks up Oscar and throws him out the window) Oscar Martinez: Uh. Ahh! Wolverine: (Panting) (Scene goes to Pamela and Jim looking scared while Wolverine is breathing) (Scene goes to Jim Halpert in an along room) Jim Halpert: I can't wait to see what they're gonna call this mess. (The scene goes around to see the setting of the place while the theme song plays) (Wolverine inside his office slides a trophy of himslelf on the desk) (Scene then goes to a sign with a man and man in a wheelchair and then to the title "The Clawfice" with Wolverine slashing it once) Wolverine: Everybody, meet the Westchester Team. (Scene goes to the X-Men team) Jim Halpert: The X-Men? You guys sell paper, too? Storm: Uh, it's called Xavier's school for the gifted. Selling paper just happens to be one of our gifts. Wolverine: Plus I'm 150 years old. Do you know how many jobs I've had? Ryan Howard: No, I don't. (Cyclops shoots laser out of his mask and it hits Ryan, destroying him and leaving a hole in the wall) Wolverine: In the world of sales, you've got to know things. You also have to hustle and be able to control the weather. Phyllis Lapin-Vance: Uh, how does that help with... (Storm summons a lightning onto Phyllis, shocking her) Phyllis Lapin-Vance: No further questions. Wolverine: So here's the deal. Whichever team outperforms the other team gets to stay. (Scene goes to Kelly Kapoor in an along room) Kelly Kapoor: At this point I don't even want to stay. But that Cyclops is cute. (Scene resumes to Wolverine in another room) Wolverine: Let the games begin. (Scene goes to Pamela near a print machine) Pamela Halpert: Paper jam! (Jim comes with a screwdriver to fix it) (Dwight Schrute runs in) Pamela Halpert: I need this to go to shipping. (Dwight runs with paper) (Scene goes to X-Men team) Jean Grey: I need a staple remover. (Wolverine cuts it and removes staple) (Nightcrawler jumps in) Jean Grey: I need this to go to New York. (Nightcrawler poofs out of existence) (Scene goes to Rogue and Storm) Storm: Rogue, touch one of them so you can absorb their knowledge of the office. (Rogue touches Meredith Palmer and absorbs her) Rogue: Suddenly I'm depressed. I don't feel like doing anything. Meredith Palmer: Honey, come with me. I've got just the thing. (Scene goes to Andy and Iceman) Andy Bernard: You'd like 37 orders? Excellent. Iceman: Better freeze him in his tracks so I can catch up. (Angela Martin runs in) Angela Martin: Forget it, pal. I'll give you a cold stare like you've never seen before. (Angela begins her cold stare which freezes Iceman) (Scene goes to Stanley Hudson and Beast doing crossword puzzles) Beast: You know, I've never been able to finish one of these. Stanley Hudson: Probably 'cause you're working too hard. Gotta spend more time focusing your thoughts. (Scene goes to Wolverine) Wolverine: My team is getting destroyed! Jim Halpert: Actually, it's a lot cuter if you say it like this. Can you believe my team is getting destroyed? (Shrugs hands) Wolverine: (Facepalm) Aargh. You even give testimonies better than us. (Scene goes to Cyclops without his visor) Cyclops: (While knocking stuff down) Where's my visor? Where's my visor? (Scene goes to Dwight Schrute wearing Cyclop's visors in an along room) Dwight Schrute: I've written enough sci-fi fan fiction to know when a cool trade is in order. (Scene resumes to Dwight's glasses on table) Cyclops: Oh, here it is. (Cyclops picks up Dwight's glasses and automatically shoots laser out of his eyes, making a destruction on his team's property.) X-Men Team: (Screaming) (Scene sees a boom in front and when it goes away, we see Nighthawk holding a surrunder flag for the X-Men team) Wolverine: Well, I guess I know who my new team is. (Scene goes to the Office cast wearing costumes with hero/success music playing) (Scene goes to Wolverine in an along room) Wolverine: But let's face it, those members rotate so often, who can keep track? (Scene resumes to Wolverine and the New X-Men team. Also hero/success music is still playing) Wolverine: Never forget, your job is to sell paper, take inventory, and of course, defeat Magneto. New X-Men Team (Office Cast): What? (Scene goes to Magneto appearing and getting ready to attack) New X-Men Team (Office Cast): Aah! It's Magneto! Wolverine: That's what she said. (Segment ends) Trivia *When Jo Bennett spoke in the Video, she had a dog behind her. *In this segment, Wolverine was wearing a tie. *The 2 people who were fired or eliminated from the Office was Oscar and Ryan. *In all, there were 7 scene where people spoke in an alone room. *The sign at the door says Muder Difflin. However in the Office, it says Dunder Mufflin. *The cup Wolverine had near the beginning at the tittle where he put a trophy of himself said "World's Angriest Boss" *At the tittle, Wolverine cut off put of the e in Clawfice. "The end E." *In all, 3 people from the Office got hurt, Oscar, Ryan and Pylllis. *There was 8 (Including Wolvering) X-Men members vs. 9 Office Members. *When Wolverine grabbed Oscar, Wolverine's right glove was blue instead of yellow. Category:TV parodies Category:TV Segment Category:Transcripts Category:Segments